I hate living here. I am very unhappy and feel completely stuck. Most days I can hide it pretty well, bite my tongue when she questions something I've done but today was not one of those days. I stayed upstairs all day because I just couldn't bring myself to go downstairs and deal with her. Today I was questioned about ant bait like I don't understand what ant bait is. I just made the comment that it is better to feed them under the counter and they stay off the counter. She actually asked if it was poison like I am just sooo stupid I don't know that ant bait needs to be poison.......duh. I guess she thinks us stupid folks from the south are just to dump to know that ant bait needs to be poison. That is just one example of what I deal with. Yesterday it was telling me I need to get the rice cooked like I don't know how long it takes to cook rice. And when I commented on how nice it is going to be to go on the new deck in the morning to have her coffee to have a nice comfortable chair to sit in. She said I didn't need to pamper her like I bought that furniture for her. I just commented on how nice it will be I didn't need for the to make that stupid comment. Oh and yesterday she said I should turn the light off in my little building because I am to stupid to know when to turn a light off......DUH! I'm so stuuuuuupid!!
I have commented to her to just leave the dishes for the dishwasher but she refuses to do that. I commented that we need to cut down on the number of pots of coffee we drink every day since there are some days I pour a whole pot down the drain. That was met with snide comments too.
Of course when I say something to Jon he always takes her side or makes excuses for her. "It's just the way she has been doing it for 50 years" is what I hear. Well it is time for a change. I sure was naïve believe she meant when she said "It's our house now we can do what we want" that was really stupid of me. I should have know better. You can't ask a woman who has lived in the same house for 50 years to just give up everything she has known and done without a fight. So where does that leave me? If I tell Jon I am unhappy and want to move the shit will definitely hit the fan and I am not prepared for the fallout so I guess I just suck it up or I start fighting back. Maybe I do need to fight back. I have been walking around on eggshells for over a year because I didn't want to upset her but I am so beyond that now. I am tired of being talked down to and treated like an idiot in my own home. I am tired of everything I do being questioned like I haven't been running my own house for over 26 years. I am tired of being nice. I am tired of trying to keep the peace with her. I am just tired of all of it. I am not a child who doesn't know how to do anything.
And I am tired of people showing up here thinking it is ok to stay the night without at least calling to make sure we are okay with it. When Justin and Bentley showed up Saturday without calling and then just announced they were staying the night I was pissed. I mean who does that? It would never cross my mind to just show up and say "Hey I'm staying the night" I mean that is the epitome of rudeness and I come from a long line of rude people. Even in my messed up family we don't do things like that.
Life for these people is about to change in a way they don't like because I am done being nice. Eric snooping around in the basement like he owns the house. People showing up to stay the night without calling first. People coming to stay for an extended time without keeping up with their kids.......I am DONE!
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