How do we cope with the loss of a loved one?

It has been a tough year and a half for our family.  My dad died on August 21, 2015, my mom died on June 19, 2016 on Father's Day.  Jon's grandmother died on November, 27, 2016 and my boxer Chloe died today, November 28, 2016.  Now I know there are those that would say I shouldn't include my dog in with family members but I would have to disagree with them.  She was very much a part of our family, she had been my dog for 11+ years so life will be very different without her around.  

As I mourned the loss of my Chloe this morning it kind of hit me how much loss we have had to deal with in such a short period of time.  To say it has been difficult would be an understatement.  How does one learn to live without their beloved family member?  How much loss can a person or family take?  I wish I had an answer for that question. Today I feel completely overwhelmed with grief and sorrow.  It just seems to wash over me and I can hardly catch my breath.  My head hurts from crying and all I want to do is curl up in bed and forget everything.  Unfortunately I don't have that luxury.  The animals are not going to feed themselves and someone has to milk the goats so that is out of the question.  Life goes on at least that is what I am told.  I guess I will have to learn to cope somehow, it won't be easy but then again the last year and 4 months have been anything but easy. I thought I had made progress after Mom and Dad died but losing Chloe today seems to have set me back quite a bit. I feel like I am starting over again with the feelings of loss and grief, of sorrow and sadness.  I knew I was going to lose Chloe soon, her health had declined pretty rapidly in the last few months.  The best estimate of her age was 13 to 14 years so she was quite old for a boxer. She lived a very long life but I don't think you really ever get "ready" to lose someone or something you love.  Even though I knew her life was going to come to an end soon I was still devastated when she died this morning.  The saying "this too shall pass" keeps running through my mind. I know I will be sad for a while but life does go on.  There are animals to feed and gardens to grow and life will go on but it sure won't be the same.  It hasn't been the same since Mom and Dad died but I have learned to adapt to a new normal and I know I will do the same for Chloe.   

  For my Chloe 

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

So much hate and ugliness in the world....why?

     I saw a video on Facebook last night. It was a few guys in a boat on a lake or river who came upon a dog that someone dumped.  The dog was sitting along the bank tangled in some roots.  He had tape wrapped around his muzzle and the back of his head. The guys were able to get the dog in the boat and cut the tape off his muzzle.  The poor baby was cold and weak from not eating.  God only knows how long the dog had been there before he was found by those good samaritans who saved it. Now why would someone do something like that to a defenseless dog?  Why would anyone think that is acceptable?  I have such a hard time understand the evil and ugliness that is in our world today. Last week I heard of a woman who was saved that was found chained up like a dog in a shipping container in North Carolina.  She had been in that container for 2 months.  They believe her boyfriend was killed and buried on the property.  The guy that owned the property was a registered sex offender and probably a serial killer. They believe there are at least 4 others buried on the property.  
     Now I know there has always been evil in the world but the question I have is this;  is there more evil in the world now or is it that the evil is the same but we are able to hear about it more because of the internet?  We all learned about Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot in high school history but were they the exceptions or were they just an example of our inhumanity?  Are people inherently evil and fight daily to keep it in check or are these just examples of "bad" people?      
     Before I became a Christian I thought Christians were weak.  I wondered why people had to believe in a higher power to be good.  Why do we need God to teach us right from wrong?  I knew right from wrong when I wasn't a Christian.  I knew stealing was wrong,  murder was evil and lying was bad.  Maybe it was just ingrained in me from church when I was little.  I guess there are those in this world who really struggle with this issue and rely on God to keep the on the straight path.  Only God knows the answer.            
     As for me I will continue to believe that God is good, that He is in control, that his word is powerful and we should follow it.   I will try to look at people through his eyes and always look for the best in them.  
        

You should plant a garden

I love to garden.  I love growing my own food.  I love digging in the dirt and getting my hands dirty.  I don't love the backache that comes with it but I have learned to deal with it.  Working in the garden is very gratifying.  What other activity can you do that gives you a return of fresh vegetables for your trouble?  What other activity connects you with the earth more than growing your own vegetables?  None that I can think of.  Watching my broccoli and cauliflower grow, anticipating the harvest and how good it will taste makes me happy. Oh well it's the little things in life that make life worth living.......wow that was deep!

We made it through another election

I was so disappointed that Ted Cruz didn't get the nomination and I swore I would not vote for Trump. Well I had to eat crow yesterday because that is what I did.  I literally had tears in my eyes as I pressed the "cast ballot" button on the machine.  It was sad to see those names on the ballot when we had so many good choices in the beginning and ended up with Trump, Clinton, and Johnson. 
Never in my adult life or have I felt so much dread over an election. As I stayed up late looking at the returns on the internet. I was shocked to see Trump win state after state.  I was so convinced that Clinton was going to be our next president and that just filled me with fear and sadness.  Now I am still fearful for my country but  I also have just a tiny bit of hope. How wonderful is it that so many people actually got out and voted yesterday!  I added up just the top 5 and it was close to 125 million votes and that is astounding. It is amazing and sad at the same time that it took the fear of Clinton becoming president to get that many evangelicals out to vote or maybe it is because Trump was the nominee on the right and that is still sad that they put so much faith in someone who is so flawed. Maybe it is about redemption,  is it the hope that a man like Trump might be a good president?  It is hard to say what caused so many to get out and vote yesterday but I am thankful they did.   
Trump has a clean slate and I will be praying that he does the right things for our country.  I hope and pray that he nominates a godly person to fill the vacant supreme court seat like he promised and the others that are expected to become vacant in the next few years.  I hope he follows through on his promise to secure our borders, to keep Americans safe and to help create and economy that will encourage companies to bring back manufacturing from overseas.  I hope and pray that he sticks to his word when he says he is the president of everyone and doesn't use his position to punish those who spoke out against him or didn't support him.  I pray he is the president so many hope he will be.  
God Bless America and God Bless our new president. 
  

This holiday season

Last year was the first holiday season without Dad and it was pretty hard on all of us.  I bought a juniper bush for a Christmas tree and planted it in the back yard.  I really didn't want to even do that but we did have the kids here part of the time and I didn't want to deprive them of a tree. We have lost Mom since last Christmas so this year will be doubly bittersweet.  Now that it is almost that time of year again I have decided to celebrate the holiday season like Mom and Dad are still here. I know they wouldn't want us moping around and I refuse to do that again this year.  I am hoping the rest of the family will do the same.  I am also hoping we will be able to have our annual Christmas get-together here at the house this year.  I want to make all the stuff Mom and Dad would have liked with LOTS of desserts.  I want to celebrate the birth of our Lord with family, reminisce about past holidays and make new memories. I want to celebrate life like I know they would want us to do.  This is an invitation to the whole family to come on out to our house in East Texas and lets spend some time together.  Lets share stories and eat some yummies and have a good time.