Our move to Iowa

 In April 2012 we moved to what we thought would be our forever home.  Jon and I have moved a lot in the 26 years we've been married and were tired of it.  We made a promise to each other that our move to Texas would be our last move.  Well that lasted 9 years and then we got the itch, well I did anyway.  After Jon's step-dad passed away we became concerned about his mom living alone.  After much discussion and prayer we decided it would be best for us and for his mom to sell everything and move in with Mom.  I'm not going to lie there are days I really regret it.  I miss my house, I miss my property, I miss our friends, I miss my animals.....I miss everything.  Even though we became very disillusioned with Texas we put a lot of time, energy, money along with sweat and blood into building a homestead we were very proud of.  To move from 34 acres to less than 5 is a big adjustment.  Leaving behind my goats, dogs and cat was tough.  

Learning to live with Jon's mom has been a huge adjustment too.  When we bought the house we were told we could do what we wanted with the house but that hasn't been the case.  On every turn she frowns when I suggest things to change.  I know this has been her house for 50 yrs but it is still frustrating that I can't do the things I want to do and that I get questioned all the time like a child who doesn't know what I'm doing.

The plan after we moved and got settled was to do some traveling but that hasn't happened either.  I really want to buy a small camper and hit the road but Jon isn't feeling that at least not yet.  His excuse is there is lots to do to the house, winter is setting in etc.  Lots of excuses why we can't do what I want.....super annoying. 

Most days I feel like I gave up everything to move up here and have gotten nothing in return but frustration, heartache, depression and disappointment.   I know we haven't been here very long but most days I feel like nothing is going to change. I spend a lot of time in our sitting room by myself.  I haven't made any friends here and that is depressing and I don't feel welcome downstairs sometimes.  I know I am probably being unreasonable and sensitive but that is how I feel most of the time.